1.
For one second before I seize
I can feel it approach
like a hawk encircling its prey
with one exacting purpose.
At the same time
I am overtaken by an animal terror
for my body knows of what’s to come.
The hawk, with skillful acuity
dives in for the kill
and as I leave my body,
forced out by fright,
it grabs me with its talons,
attacks me with its beak
and strips me of muscle, thought,
bone, fur, awareness.
2.
A few minutes later I return
to my shaking animal body
discarded by the hawk
rejected by death
and knowing only terror.
Restless and raw,
groundless and homeless,
pieces of fur and bone
lie scattered amongst fragmented thoughts.
3.
Slowly,
bit by bit,
piece by piece,
every muscle spent
every neuron used up,
I put myself back together:
tendon to bone to flesh
to thought to awareness,
memory by memory,
I begin to recognize
who this self is.
I tremble and cry
at once overcome
with the horror and wonder
that is life.
